If I were running for President, here’s what I’d propose…

Mandatory 52-week public service requirement for every child born after 1/1/2000 to be completed between a person’s 18th and 25th birthdays. Before you label me a bureaucratic authoritarian prick, consider the following…

The Ship is Sinking

The population is getting older, the deficits (budget and trade) ain’t lookin so hot (which fucks the value of our currency), and at some point drastic measures will need to be taken. I propose we build a new public infrastructure within the major industries of our economy to facilitate the transition from the classroom to the workforce. Each kid essentially gets a 1-year internship in the general field of his or her choice. We’ve got 8 years to iron out the details (voters will have the option to pull the plug after 4). For now let’s just focus on the idea of mandatory non-military public service as a means of improving the health of our nation. If we can draft our young to kill foreigners, we can also draft them for other, *ahem*…less morally objectionable service.

Face it, today’s kids (myself included) are spoiled rotten

My grandfathers lived through the depression and served in WWII. My father went to college with the cloud of the draft hanging over him, knowing that if he didn’t maintain the GPA mandated by his scholarship, he was headed off to Southeast Asia. Today’s college students serve as uber-consumers with more time and spending ability than should be humanly possible. The lucky ones spend their parents’ money, the unlucky go into debt, and a select few do neither. I don’t think this phenomenon is going to change anytime soon, but it couldn’t hurt to build their character a little before dropping them into the real world.

Hans Gruber

I must have missed 60 Minutes, what are you saying?

The current system is broken. Sacrifices are necessary. We need to start thinking outside the box. Here are some general ideas of what my plan would entail…

Most young adults would enter into a newly created public institution in the field of their choice. Military service would still be an option. Another option would be to volunteer for an approved not-for-profit institution. A third option would be to intern in the private sector, with 100% of the salary going to the government. The goal is to create an environment where every individual gains some real world experience before taking the plunge into adulthood while simultaneously addressing other problems. The penalty for non-compliance would be forfeiture of all future Social Security benefits.

The benefits of these programs would be spread across our society

The kids gain valuable experience. The government gains new revenue streams to help pay down the national debt. Aging boomers can fill clerical jobs managing the program. Kids can enlist for additional years to earn money for college. The entry level employee pool will be more seasoned, experienced and competent which will translate into a stronger economy.

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