It’s been 13 days since I last successfully powered on my laptop. I’ve troubleshot w/ phone support (Day 1), replaced the motherboard myself (Day 3), sent it to the depot (Day 8), now today I’ve been told it’s no longer covered by warranty because there was evidence of a spill. I called them out on their bullshit, and now (thanks to the lovely Jessica) I’ve got another replacement motherboard coming my way (apparently the depot is full of incompetent buffoons who couldn’t possibly be troubled to fix a computer themselves).

Thursday night I attended a family gathering at my uncle’s house to celebrate the multiple late September birthdays in my extended family. It was a pretty good shindig. I listened to my 86-going-on-70-year-old grandmother give a spiel about her new paid gig working for the city. I talked with my uncle (the one hosting the event) about Arsenal’s recent form. There was plenty of social interaction going on at this party between 6:30 and 8pm.

When 8pm does roll around, all the 20-somethings (the percentage of 20-somethings in this crowd was much higher than usual) convened in the living room to watch the season premiere of The Office. This proved to be difficult due to all the noise being made by the boomers and old timers in the next room. The volume was cut for the singing of multiple happy birthday songs (in this house they sing an alternate version of happy birthday following the traditional one) although my cousin and I had our ears pressed against the speakers of the television - desperately trying to hear the dialogue.

Cake and ice cream were distributed during the first commercial break. The situation became tense when the show resumed and volume was re-raised. Keep in mind there were over half a dozen of us trying to watch this - including one of the birthday people - it’s not like we were imposing this on the party - it was consensual.

My uncle got rather pissed that a television show had hijacked his birthday party. Under normal circumstances I’d be on his side, but this wasn’t just any television show - this was an event - and honestly I had even considered skipping the party because of it (of course that would have been anti-social and kinda pathetic). So when we refuse to turn it off, he declares that it’s going off in 5 minutes…and then he changes his mind and turns it off immediately declaring ‘anyone who wants to watch a television show can do it at their own house’. I promptly turned to each of my cousins, said goodbye and got the fuck out of there (I live 10 minutes away meaning I could still catch the 2nd half of the hour-long premiere). My uncle cheerfully said goodbye to me as I exited, I don’t think realizing (yet) why I was leaving (although my cousin was in the process of spelling it out to him before I was out the door).

Now, I realize that to some people my behavior comes off as shallow and immature. Those people are probably over 40 and don’t regularly watch The Office. My uncle thought he could strong arm his will on the party without having people bail and I proved him wrong. One of us had to do it.

In a few hours I leave for Denver. According to Google Maps I’ll be driving 849 miles over the course of 12 and a half hours. The primary reason for the trip is the Arcade Fire concert at Red Rocks on Monday, but I also plan on hitting the Monolith Festival on Saturday (also at Red Rocks) and checking out the city on Sunday with my friend and his wife (who just moved out there). Highlights from my last trip to Denver included my first ever viewing of Die Hard as well as enjoying endless promos for WWF SummerSlam89 (this was during my 12-month wrestling phase that also included the theatrical release No Holds Barred as well as the epic WrestleMania VI). So yeah - it’s been a while.

Most people I’ve told about the trip think I’m crazy for driving, but that’s just how I roll. Ever since my breakout summer of ‘98 when (at age 17) I made my first concert road trips (from St Louis) to Indy and Knoxville, I’ve managed at least one out of state concert trip each year (the year I graduated college I saw over 2 dozen out of state shows scattered across North America). There’s just something about going the extra mile for a show that makes the good ones that much more satisfying (especially if you’re sleep deprived and the delirium has kicked in). Over the next few weeks I’ll be seeing Arcade Fire twice more in KC and Louisville, with an additional trip to Chicago to see the National also in the mix.

It might make more sense to fly, but I prefer the adventures of the open road. I love knowing that while 85% of the world is working, I’m in my car taking pinch hits and rocking out to my favorite music for hours on end. Barring a catastrophe (I’m probably destined to die on one of these trips at some point - but let’s hope that’s not for another 3 or 4 decades), I should have plenty to report in the coming days…

To procreate or not to procreate?…if you’re struggling with this question, congratulations - you’re the envy of every person who’s had parenthood thrust on them before they were ready. While the birth rate continues to decline to all-time lows in this country, there are still way too many people having kids that shouldn’t be (just stroll down to your local grocery store Wal-Mart if you don’t believe me). As much as I wish this wasn’t my problem, any society with a significant population of overwhelmed parents and neglected youth is going to have its share of problems spill over to the rest of us.

Now I’m not knocking procreation. After all, some people have to have kids. It’s just my opinion that discourse on the subject of when to have kids is (still) severely lacking in mainstream society. I’m not exactly sure why that is. Maybe it’s because too often it leads to the dreaded abortion debate - or possibly the non-breeders don’t want to come off as judgmental to their friends with kids. I’m sure on some level the wheels of the Baby Industrial Complex are turning to ensure naive kids keep knocking each other up - and then there’s the many facets of Organized Religion (some of which are just well disguised pyramid schemes). I don’t want to turn this into a Church-bashing exercise (there will be plenty time for that later) - just keep in mind that all religions stand to benefit from their members having as many kids as possible.

A few years ago shortly before I graduated from college, a Kenyan-born friend of mine came to stay with me in my hometown over an extended break. His impression was that far too many Americans settle down prematurely without really thinking about it. They get married, have kids, work Monday-Friday, and watch football on the weekends because that’s what they’re programmed to do. In retrospect I think he was on the right track but missed the overall point that people with kids are easier to program than people without kids.

For example, people with kids are more vulnerable to the scare tactics and propaganda used by our government and media. Absurd policies (like imprisoning hundreds of thousands of non-violent pot smokers annually - or launching a preemptive invasion into a sovereign nation) are carried out in the name of protecting the children. People with kids have got enough shit to worry about as it is without contemplating the negative ramifications of these policies.

It’s not all bad though. Having kids does force individuals to take on more responsibility which naturally causes them mature more rapidly and develop life skills they might not have otherwise. The problem is that when this maturation is forced too early in life, you end up with parents overcompensating for their lost youth at a time when their offspring need them to be setting a good example of how to behave as an adult. If Mom is bringing underage kids over to party in the middle of the night, she’s gonna have a hard time keeping her own kids in line when the time comes. Pretty soon her babies are having babies and the cycle repeats itself.

Regardless of what some slick marketing campaign might tell you, you can never get those years back - you are only young once. People should spend their 20s figuring out who they are and what they want to do with their lives - not changing diapers and falling asleep on the couch watching bad television. If by your late 20s and you’ve found someone with whom you’d like to raise a family with - knock yourself out. If not, you retain the freedom to do whatever you want with your life. It’s not a difficult concept to grasp - and one we should be teaching the next generation before it’s too late.

I have a gift for retaining random (mostly useless) information. My co-workers call me the database primarily based on my ability to name any actor* based on the vaguest of hints. My brain keeps detailed files on everyone I encounter and despite having consumed vast quantities of pot and alcohol over the past decade, I’m still able to recall specific details from random events that I experienced over 5, 10, even 20 years ago. Usually the response is along the lines of, How the fuck do you remember that shit?. I’m sure at least one person has falsely assumed I’ve been obsessing over them (not that I don’t obsess - I’d just never be that up front about it with the subjects of my obsessions).

*who appeared in anything decent between 1984 and 2001

I often use computer terms as metaphors for the human brain. It seems that most people max out their processors on a regular basis and suffer from insufficient RAM which in turn puts additional strain on the hard drive. There is so much information being forced on people from every angle that their brains can’t dedicate sufficient resources to sustaining long-term memories. Most people don’t archive their data, and once it gets overwritten it’s gone forever. My brain doesn’t even try to retain anything until it’s been inputted twice - hence I’m terrible at remembering names at parties.

When you’re telling these little stories, here’s a good idea - have a POINT. It makes it SO much more interesting for the listener!

So what is the point? I guess like everyone else I’m just trying to make sense of all this shit - only since I seem to be able to remember more shit than everyone else, I feel some obligation to explore why that is.